The rising influence of societal issues has negatively affected parenting. Many parents are perplexed about raising their children morally upright without worrying about peer pressure and negative character. There’s a need to nurture a child’s physical, social, moral, and emotional development. One of the advisable ways to do this is by improving the parent-child relationship. Good relationships can help improve your children’s future and reduce home stress. The quality of child and parent relationships is important to children’s development.
How parents relate to their children can profoundly affect how children develop social and emotional competencies, gain self-control, and learn to solve problems, interact with others, and become responsible adults. Remember the saying, “Charity begins at home”? Yes, it begins at home—how you raise and interact with your kid has a ripple effect on their relationship with others in school, society, and family, and it all starts with you.
We all want the best for our kids, but it can be challenging to remember when facing a vocal teenager or an immature tween. Do you want to improve your relationship with your children? Here are six proven ways how to do it:
1. Gain Their Trust.
Kids are comfortable around people who make them feel easy. One of the best ways to build or improve a healthy relationship with your child is to gain their trust. What does this mean? It requires a two-pronged effort. It means you have to prove to them you are on their side while trying to keep your interactions with them as positive as you can. The side-effect of this is a friendly bond. Your child shouldn’t perceive you as a villain or enemy to conquer. They need to trust and depend on you.
Children need parents. If your main goal is to be their friend and not their parent, they might not listen to you when you try to influence them. Friends tend to always say yes to us. but sometimes parents need to say “no.” As much as you can, try to remain kind to your children, they’ll get close and find you easy to talk to. Kids need someone who will listen to them, encourage them and be there for them when things go wrong. If you don’t gain their trust, it’s going to be difficult for them to heed your advice when you give it to them.
Gain your children’s trust and you will see your relationship with them improve.
2. Show them affection and love.
One of the most important things parents can do is show affection toward their children. This doesn’t mean hugging them when they’ve just spilled juice on the couch (although that would be nice), but it does mean letting them know they’re important to you by being patient when they’re having a hard time learning or by giving them extra attention when they’ve done something special or complex. Your child needs to feel loved, but it can be challenging to express your love for your child. The best thing you can do is to show affection in many different ways. Hug, kiss, and tell your child you love them daily. Children need to hear this message repeatedly to know you love them.
Young children need physical contact with their parents. They need hugs and kisses and cuddles. They need to hear and know they are loved and valued by their parents, who are the most important people in their lives. Showing love in words and actions builds children’s trust. If you don’t show affection this way, your child will feel unloved or unwanted. This can lead to problems with self-esteem, anxiety, and depression later in life.
3. Be supportive.
Your actions or inactions are a huge deal to your child. Children love to be seen, supported, and celebrated. Say, your child has a competition at school; your presence will mean a lot more than a gift or apology. Be available when they need you and be ready to support their aspiration, fun, academics, extracurricular activities, etc. When praising your child, use descriptive praise. This type of praise includes the reason you are praising them in the actual praise. For example, if you want to let them know you are proud of them because they got a high grade on a test you could say “I’m proud of you for earning an A+ on the test!” instead of “good job!” This way your child will hear what they did to earn them praise. This will increase the probability they will repeat their behavior in the future.
Praising your children also helps build positive relationships because it shows you’re proud of them.
4. Listen actively.
Your children have a lot to say, and they need an adult who will listen to them. They might want advice or someone to hear them out without judgment or interruption. If your child comes to you with a problem, let them know you’re willing and available to hear them.
Don’t dismiss what they are saying; listen and let them know what they have to say is important to you. When kids feel heard and understood, it makes it easier for them to open up about other things in the future when they need help or advice. A child who finds you trustworthy will tell you all details of their day in school, interaction with friends and other concerns.
When was the last time you sat with your child to catch up on their week? You can do this over lunch or dinner or during a family hangout. Better still, talk to your child privately. Please don’t assume that living together means seeing or hearing everything, and it doesn’t also translate to quality time. Dedicate ample time to converse, play games and have fun with your kids. Understand that, as they grow, having certain discussions such as puberty, sex and relationship may become difficult. Still, you must find your way around it and make it easy for them to speak by gaining their trust and listening attentively.
Healthy relationships can occur if you listen and take action. If you consistently interject your conversation with your child without understanding, they will not tell you important things. Learn to listen to their side of the story. Yes, kids have emotions, and they can display them.
5. Be a good role model.
Children learn by watching what adults do. If you expect them to do something because they know it’s the right thing. So make sure you’re doing the right thing yourself, and they’ll follow suit. They learn from what you say and do. In fact, they know more from the things you do in their presence. Improving your relationship with your kids requires intentionality. Parents can set a good example by having strong relationships with their parents and siblings. Children learn how to treat others by watching how their parents treat others, including family members and strangers.
Children also learn from what they see parents do daily. If a parent works hard at their job, the child will likely follow suit when it comes time for them to enter the workforce. If the parent takes care of their appearance daily, the child will do likewise.
Children with good relationships with their parents also tend to have better relationships with others. Children learn to interact positively with others through interactions with their parents over time.
Parents should also try discussing issues that may be causing a rift in their relationship with their children so they can come up with solutions together before things get too bad between them. Parents should also be aware of their behavior and strive to ensure it’s consistent with their values. For example, a parent who often yells at people or uses negative words will indirectly make the child think it’s normal behavior.
6. Exercise patience with them.
Kids are special and should be treated as such. Relating with them shouldn’t be forced- an uneasy relationship demoralizes them. Children need boundaries and rules to feel secure and successful in life. While this is true for all children, it is vital for those with special needs or disabilities to require extra support from their parents or caregivers.
If you want your child to behave well and do what is right, make sure they understand what you require of them at all times. Give them enough time to learn to comply with these expectations without being punished when they don’t follow them immediately (or at all).
CONCLUSION
No one gets a perfect hang of parenting; you learn every day. We have shared some healthy relationship tips to maintain and improve parent-child relationships. Aside from general parenting advice, the best way to enhance parent-child relationships is communication. Communicating with your child not only allows you to teach your child how to interact with others and handle themselves in different situations properly, but it also gives you a chance to learn more about your child’s hopes, aspirations, and worries.
Ultimately, you must understand your child and not compare them with their siblings or other children. Pay attention and truly listen to your children; you will see what methods work best for improving your parent-child relationships with them.
Meet other parents right here in Miami-Dade at Be Strong International’s Ready to Talk, a free parent communication workshop to improve interaction, learn heart skills, gain your children’s trust and build a healthy and long-lasting relationship with them. The workshop will help you overcome communication barriers, build healthy relationship skills, and provide practical sessions for raising good and competent kids and teens.
The workshops are designed to help you raise kids and teens without hassle and guilt while following practical ways and learning from other parents who share great values.
Parents participating in the Ready to Talk parenting workshop will have the opportunity to learn new tactics and heart skills they can apply to raising their children. We give adults the tools and resources to address healthy relationships amongst parents and children while maintaining a non-threatening and supportive environment. These workshops are offered in English, Spanish and Creole.
Join any of the upcoming workshops in Miami-Dade at bestrongintl.org/upcomingevents.
If you have any questions, you may contact our Parent Facilitators here.
